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being nessasary

a quirky look into being

I am stubborn, almost destructively, really.  When I get an idea of what I want, and there is some sort of urgency to it, I won’t quit the chase until I get it, or at least, until I find something better to tackle.  College was easy, I wanted good grades and an English degree.  Check.  Cancer was easy, I wanted to set fire to its pimply ass, and stay alive in doing so.  Check.  Writing, well, let’s say it is always a work in progress, and someday that book will come flapping to a store near you. Quasi-check.  Career – I have trouble spelling the word at times.

I have tried teaching, but with my medical issues, did not have the stamina to keep up with student teaching and the coinciding classes.  Tutoring high school kids:  I was told to be easier on kids while writing their senior papers (which I believe is doing them an injustice), and also, once again, was held back by a medical issue.  Interning in the advertising department for a magazine:  I am pretty much an ornament with a rare talent in data entry and proofreading.

Stubbornness V Career Setbacks = More Stubborness.  I have met with people regarding my resume, applied for retail positions, even looked on Craigslist for dog-walking gigs.  But in this economy, a BA in English from Indiana University is just not enough for any of these positions.  I need experience. The irony lies in the fact that no one is willing to provide the opportunity to gain experience.

So, a stubborn young woman swallows her pride for months. Eventually December arrives and the Christmas lights ignite!  Bright colors, Yellow! Green! Red! Blue! Orange!  Why doesn’t this cancer survivor, who absolutely loves massages, aromatherapy and natural remedies return to school to study said practices?  Brilliant!

After I met with the nearest college that provides a massage therapy program, I found myself and found myself smiling as I sipped on a frost topped Diet Coke.  I am finally making a change I like. This is cool – this whole trying something completely different:  it is liberating.  I won’t even need to check a bag.  I can carry a change of clothes, a pair of shoes, and a notebook in my satchel!

I believe that the joy of learning and the near-promise of really having a career are enough to keep the cancer goblins at bay – or even make them run further from my beautiful body and brain.  Without even starting this new path, I feel loads of mud letting me go.


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